


Heaven Sent/Hell Bent

by LoisLane89



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Soulmates, The Enchanted Forest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-21 10:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11942331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoisLane89/pseuds/LoisLane89
Summary: After generations of fighting in the realm, a treaty was signed subjecting all members of the line of succession to be soul bonded. The celebration of a royal's 18th birthday marked the day of their bonding. Today is Princess Emma Mary Swan White's birthday.





	Heaven Sent/Hell Bent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThePlaceboEffects](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePlaceboEffects/gifts).



The feeling of magic in the air gave away the presence of her mornings latest annoyance. She slowed her pen, drawing out inevitable.

 

“How can I help you Blue?” The Queen said feeling no need to look up yet. 

 

The Blue Fairy barely tilted her head, she had no allegiance or deference to any particular monarchy. "It's been too long Your Majesty, almost two years I believe.”

 

Regina turned toward Blue, “I’m a busy woman, I have a kingdom to run.”

 

“I’m sure you’re aware of the date.”

 

“Of course I am.”

 

“Do you not wish to tell her yourself? Your time is quickly coming to an end.”

 

“You have done your job fairy. Consider yourself absolved.”

 

“Avoiding this will only hurt you both.”

 

Regina waved her hand over a small box on her desk, and it clicked open, inside she grazed her fingers over a stack of papers tied with a blue ribbon. “We’re already hurt.”

 

-

The long open room where court was being held was draped in deep royal blue curtains. Large open fireplaces along the walls provided light and, the dark marble floor had been bewitched to give off a cool feeling to save the occupants from the heat of the packed room. The first Saturday of the month was always the busiest day of court, with no agenda it gave every citizen of Misthaven the opportunity to address their concerns to the royal family.

 

Today was different as it fell on the 23rd of October, the Heir to the throne and Princess Emma Mary Swan White's 18th birthday, and even the grumpiest of peasants quickened their rants to release the beloved child on her birthday. 

 

The princess herself wore a light blue dress, and she was fidgeting with the beading while avoiding the subtle glares from her mother. Emma hated court, she disliked the long hours of having to sit still when she could be doing hundreds of things besides nodding to her kingdom's citizens as they argued. It wasn't that she didn't care, she did. She loved her people, and normally she could fake her enthusiasm better, but today was her birthday. Her 18th birthday, tonight she would become the official heir to the throne, and more stressing would very likely become engaged to be married. 

 

The celebration of a royal's 18th birthday marked the day of their bonding. Centuries ago the power of the aristocracy had almost crumbled under years of inbreeding, wars waged behind false heirs, and expensive dowries used to buy a family's way onto the throne. After a bloody war between the neighboring lands, a treaty was signed by all the kingdoms of the realm. Any child borne of royal blood in the immediate line of secession would be subjected to a bonding ceremony by pixie dust. Tonight the fairy queen would sprinkle pure pixie dust onto Emma's head and a link would be formed between her and her other half. Her soulmate, and once found they would be for all intents and purposes bond for life. 

 

Emma didn't know how to feel about the ceremony, she knew she wasn't excited. her mother had been almost giddy with excitement for months. She could understand why her parents Queen Snow White and the Prince Regent James were the perfect examples of soulmates. A balance of calm leadership, and passionate strength their love was legendary. It wasn't uncommon for a royals soulmate to be a commoner, but her grandfather had to search half the kingdom before he found the humble sheep farmer. It was love at first sight, their wedding had taken place only days later, with Emma borne when her mother was barely 19 years of age. 

 

"If you are done trying to rip a hole in your dress, I believe your mother is about to give a speech on your behalf." Her father whispered in a joking manner from his throne on her right, slightly behind her mother's. She embarrassedly shrugged her shoulders and straightened to listen Queen Snow addressing the court.  

 

Unlike her mother, her father had taken a calmer approach to her Birthday trying to distract her with silly gifts, and adventures to the outdoor market when they could escape her mother's party planning. She loved her mother but they had little in common, other than their cherub faces, her personality almost completely emulating her father's. She tuned in halfway through her mother giving yet another reminder of the day's activities, inviting all citizens to the ball where the ceremony was to be held at midnight. 

 

Emma smiled, nodded to the crowd when the court broke out into cheers and looked into the faces of the hundreds of people in the room. Was one of them her soulmate? Had she met them before, or would they be from another part of the kingdom, another kingdom all the together? She had thought she knew once, but she’d been wrong.

 

\--

The ballroom had been filling in steadily for the last two hours, the room was beautiful. Her mother's work had certainly turned out, servants in formal livery glided through the dance floor with silver trays. As it was an open affair, long buffet tables lined one side of the room. On the other, a formal seating had been provided for Misthaven's parliament, and other visiting royalty. It's there where Emma had been staring anxiously for the last hour. She had seen a few of her friends, but her nerves had been shot hours ago and Anna’s rambling had caused her a headache almost immediately.

 

She finally saw a flash of red. Leaping her seat, she ran down the stair to sweep her favorite person into a tight hug.

 

"Aunt Ruby! Oh thank god you're here." Emma quickly grabbed the woman in front of her, in her early forties, her Godmother looked closer to a sister. Her werewolf genes kept her looking years younger, something she was sure Ruby’s ten years junior bride appreciated. Ruby had been an eternal bachelorette, happy to play godmother to her favorite little princess until at 28 she had been matched to the youngest daughter of French Kingdom Belle. 

 

"Hello pup, I can't believe you're 18 years today. It feels like only yesterday you were begging me to take you on rides through the forest." Ruby's red pantsuit fit her perfectly. Showing her lean muscles in a way that told anyone watching she was still more than capable of carrying the 120-pound princess through the forest if she desired. 

 

"Happy birthday Emma." Belle's lightly accented voice carried from behind the tall brunette. Stepping around her wife so she could press soft kisses to the young blonde's cheek. At five Emma had been severely jealous of the other woman who had taken her favorite aunt away from their kingdom for long periods of time. When she was ten, Belle had given her an entire collection of books on different types of magic throughout the realms. As the second in line to the throne of her kingdom she had been given more freedom to explore the world, she knew everything. When Emma had read about the ceremony in detail for the first time, she had freaked out spending weeks writing letters back and forth to the other woman. Her mother believed in love at first so thoroughly she refused to tell her the intimate details of the ceremony, as not to ruin the feeling.

 

Belle had been the one to tell her how it felt, the way the bond sprang to life almost as a separate being. How it felt to know who your soulmate was, to be able to feel them in your heart, and mind before they had even met you. How it felt the moment you laid eyes on them for the first time, and the connection opened both ways. If it wasn’t for Belle, Emma would be in a much worse state than she already was. 

 

"Are you excited for tonight?" Belle whispered in her ear and pulled back with a reassuring smile. 

"We both know I'm not Belle. I just wish I could put it off a few more years even, enough to live a little. Aunt Ruby, didn't have to get married till she was almost 30 years."

 

"Hey! 28 Pup, and that's because unlike you fancy people I didn't have a bonding ceremony." Ruby butted in, only to have her wife silently shush her. 

 

"Well that's great, the alternative is I could be engaged to some child royal stuck in a holding pattern for years, or if they're not a royal they could be twice my age!" Emma could tell her voice had risen as a few servants nearby had looked in her direction. She quickly lowered her head, before looking back at her aunt’s. 

 

"What if I don't like them?" She whispered, her eyes finally showing true fear. "What if.." Emma looked subtly around the room and the hundreds of women and men dancing on the ballroom floor, some couples men and women, a few both male or both female. "What if they aren't who I would have chosen?" 

 

Belle and Ruby shared a look of understanding before wrapping the young woman in a hug. Belle released the girl first, placing a hand on her shoulder forcing her to raise her head. "They will be your heart's perfect match, they will speak to every part of you." Emma gave a small but genuine small. "Even if you think they are terribly weird at first." 

 

Belle finished, cause Emma to burst out laughing and Ruby to scoff loudly. "Thank you so much love of my life." 

 

"I'm sorry Ruby, but you did try to sniff me the first time we met."

 

"It's a wolf thing." Ruby said pretending to look offended. 

 

"And had you lead with I'm a werewolf, that would have helped. In the meantime, I just thought you were allergic to my perfume."

 

Emma stared at her aunts, and for a brief moment felt hope. 

\--

 

"Monarchs from almost every kingdom in the realm came to give you their blessings Emma. You could look a little happier to see them." Queen Snow looked down at her daughter's golden locks from where she was seated a the high table. 

 

"I am happy to see them Mother, I'm sure they understand if I'm am a little on edge this evening." The grandfather clock in the hall was just barely out of sight from where she was seated, but it dongs could be heard from her chair counted down the time until midnight. 

 

"Don't fret, dear. It will all be over soon enough and you will meet your soulmate once and for all." Her mother seeming to miss the point of her anxiety yet again. 

 

"It looks like no one from Calor showed up, I would have thought the queen would have at least sent a diplomat." Her father said. 

 

Emma glanced at the tables set not far from her own and saw that he was right. The seats under the black banner showcasing a red apple tree were empty. The had blonde had been both avoiding, and nervously check those seats all evening. She knew the invitation sent to the castle secretary had been replied too, and while RSVPing to a royal event and not sending at least diplomat was bad form. It wasn't too surprising she hadn't seen, or truly heard from Queen Regina of Calor since the day of her coronation. 

 

As children they had played together whenever their respective kingdoms had met for formal events or trade negotiations. It was rare, no more than once or twice a year, since their kingdoms rested on opposite sides of the realm but they had remained friends sending each other gifts from their lands and letters detailing the relatively boring life of princesses. 

 

While they told each other everything, or at least Emma had, they had spoken of their mutual anxiety over their bonding only twice. Regina was 2 years her senior, and even at 13 Emma remembered the look on her face like yesterday. They had went riding, the brunette princesses hair tied back in a French braid with a blue ribbon. Emma had been looking forward to her family's visit to Calor for months, and Regina had promised she would let Emma ride her favorite horse with her. She had thought it the best day of her life so far, they had ridden to a small lake and eaten a picnic basket the castle cook had prepared. Then she came face to face with Daniel, a young stable boy who Regina couldn't stop blushing at. After he left Regina had pull her behind the barn and up into the stable rafters. Regina told her, how kind he was, he sweet. That she admired how well he treated the horses. Finally, with a giddy school girl like laughter she said how she hoped she would be bonded to a someone like him. Emma had pretended to listen while her insides churned. 

 

Regina hadn't noticed, she just rambled on list the young man's many attributes. Until Emma she feigned illness and returned to the castle. She had run to her father crying how she wished to go home. It had taken a years for her figure out the feeling was jealousy. Regina's letters soon started to feature the young stable hand more frequently, until she he was all she talked about. 

 

The second time was shortly after Regina's coronation and 18th birthday. Calor was one of the few kingdoms that had seen much civil unrest since the treaty, but Emma remembered the king had been kind to her. It saddened her to hear of the King and Queen's deaths, but mostly she was worried about Regina, she hadn't heard from her since the announcement. So Emma had traveled with her parents to be at the funeral and Regina's subsequent coronation that would make the youngest monarch in the realms modern history. 

 

The 17 year old had been stoic, and proper. Emma longed to take her into her arms, tell her it would be alright, even if it wasn't true. As she finally reached the young woman in the receiving line, their eyes connected and it felt like the world stopped moving. Regina's once warm chocolate eyes had hardened into cold stones expressionless. After what felt like minutes, her mother elbowed her to remember to bow. 

 

Later that night Emma snuck into east wing of Calor Castle, where the royal families apartments were. She walked as quietly as possible, even if she couldn't imagine Regina having her removed, the guards would still be on edge after the deaths of their King and Queen and she didn't want to accidental be killed for sneaking into the new Queen's bedroom. When she reached the Royal Suite she raised her arm as if to knock before lowering it and slowly turn the handle. 

 

The only light in the room was from a small fire place that had obviously been lit for hours, since only embers remained. Letting her eyes adjust she began looking for any sign Regina was in the room, just as she was about to looking in the other apartments she saw a shaking lump on the bed. Regina was wrapped in a blanket, in only her night dress, silent tears running down her face. Her foot hit a creak in the floor and brown hair whipped around, eyes blazing before recognition hit. 

 

Before Emma could utter an apologize Regina had pulled her into bed, and Emma was holding her, letting her cry into blonde locks until she finally passed out exhaustion. Emma continued to softly rub her long into the night until she passed out herself.

 

The next morning Emma woke up alone in the large bed, the morning sun lit the large room and for the first time she was able to see that the room wasn't Princess's, no she guessed it was Queen's now, but her parents. 

 

"Mother hasn't slept in this room since I was little, but it still smells like Father's cologne." Regina was seated at the large vanity in the corner, she was brushing out her long dark hair. Emma was mesmerized by how calm she now looked. 

 

"I'm sorry for last night, It was a stronger reaction than I expected." 

 

Emma sat up in the bed, "You just lost your family, Regina. I snuck in here to see how you were, you don’t have to hide from me." 

 

"Thank you." She laid the hairbrush on the table, and let their eyes meet in the mirror for a few seconds. "I'm glad you were able to come Emma, what time are you departing today."

 

Emma shyly looked away, sliding from the bed to stand behind her friend. "I was thinking I could ask my parents to let me stay for awhile." 

 

"Your parents aren't going to let you stay here, alone." 

 

Emma's eyes steeled for a fight, "They will if I ask them, you need someone here. Your 18th birthday is in two weeks Gina, It's supposed to be a happy time. You'll find true love, and someone should be here to support you." 

 

Regina turned in the seat, to face Emma but she wouldn't look her in the eyes."I won’t find true love Emma, Daniel died. He died in the same crash as my parents. All I'm going to find out is that I'm always going to be alone." 

 

"You’re not alone Regina, I'm here." Emma clenched her hands with the need to reach out and grab the girl in front of her. 

 

"And i'm telling you to leave."

 

“No, I'm not going to leave you. You're my… friend. I'm going to stay with you I'm not going to let you do this by yourself.

 

“Because you love me.” Emma looked shocked, she had long since came to the conclusion herself but she hadn't known she was so obvious to the other girl. 

 

“Don't look so shocked it was it really hard to figure out I've known since we were kids. Do you remember when I celebrated my sixteenth birthday? Lord Hood asked me to dance and you almost took his arm off trying to cut in.” Regina with a melancholy expression.

 

Emma stood straighter than before, she wasn't ready for this, but she had practiced in front of mirrors, and written at least 20 letters that had ended up in her waste bin.

 

“You’re right, Regina. I know that you're in pain right now, and this probably isn't the right time to tell you this, or maybe it is. Maybe you need to know now that someone in this world still loves you, and I do, I have for a long time. But no matter what you feel me helping you through this is not contingent on you loving me back. 

 

Regina was stunned, disbelief in her eyes.“I can't love you Emma.”

 

Emma took a deep breath, swallowing what she hoped wasn't tears. “That's OK. I, I know you loved him.”

 

“And I don't want you to stay please go.”

 

“What, why? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

 

“You didn't.”

 

“Then why?”

 

“Because I would rather be alone.”

 

The blond let out a sigh, waiting a few moments for the other girl to change her mind. She slowly made her way to the door, before pausing. 

 

"What if your wrong?, what if he's not your bonded?" Emma said holding her breath, when nothing more was said she grabbed the handle to the door. "Goodbye Regina."

 

\--

 

"Bonding ceremonies must quite hard on her." Snow spoke, shaking her from her thoughts. "Having to go through it alone, and we have to assume her soulmate had already died otherwise there would have been an announcement."

 

"Yes we must," Emma replied shortly. She had tried to write to the Queen after returning to her homeland but all of her letters had been met with no reply. She had been heartbroken, it hurt how easy it had been for Regina to simply cut her out of her life.

 

Eventually she had stopped writing and the sadness and affection had turned to anger, finally settling on an empty feeling in her heart whenever she heard any news from the Calor Kingdom. 

 

The land had rebounded from their grief, Regina had always showcased a keen mind, and her calm, stoic demeanor made her a well respected monarch. She managed to make strong trade agreements with the other nations of the realms in the last year proving her age wouldn't allow her to be pushed around. 

 

After Snow had sent the invitations to celebrate Emma's birthday, Emma had received her first and last letter from Regina. It was short, but Emma could still hear Regina's voice as she read it. Telling her she was sorry for not keeping in touch, and she had made plans to attend the ball but she understood if Emma didn't want her to be there. Emma had thought for days about what to write back going back-and-forth with her decision. Finally she decided that Regina should do whatever Regina wanted to do, she would anyway.

 

The feelings she once held for the other woman rose like a tide within her, she had cried for weeks after returning home, and she wouldn't put herself through it again. Tonight she felt that same familiar ache, and seeing the empty seats at the long table made her sad she hadn't reached out. 

 

All the sudden the chimes from the grandfather clock could be heard throughout the room. She silently counted them, 1, 2, 3. She could see everyone looking around see asking if it was already midnight. 4, 5, 6, 7, the dancers came to a completely stop as the band slowed them down to a halt. 8, 9, 10, Emma could feel as her father placed a hand on her shoulder telling her to rise, and giving her a reassuring squeeze. 11. The 12th chime rang in to the large now silent room, slowly a flick of light appeared high in the center of the room. Floating down until the Blue Fairy emerged, and grew to her a full height. 

 

“Good Evening Princess, I hope you have had a wonderful birthday.” She glided across the floor, her feet not quite touching the ground. Emma nodded her head unsure what to say. Sensing her fears Blue leaned in so only the princess could hear her. “Do not fret my child, you have nothing to fear.”

 

Something in fairy’s eyes told her she was telling the truth, with one glance at her smiling parents she walked to the center of the ballroom floor.

 

Blue had a surprisingly powerful voice, “Tonight, we give honor and peace to the Kingdom of Misthaven, the whole of the realm, by providing the heir to the throne a partner in both love and life. By giving our princess a place for her to be secure and loved, so that she may provide that safety to her kingdom. Your highness, will you please give me your hand?” 

 

Emma placed her hand palm up into Blue’s, she felt a small pinch when the pin hit her finger and blood pooled in her palm. Pixie dust was sprinkled lightly onto the hand and heat consumed her.

 

The dust shot off like a beam of light, zipping around the room. As soon as it left her hand she felt it’s pull from the the middle of her chest, tugging her forward. She rocked on her heels, her eyes never leaving the racing trail of golden dust. 

 

Finally like someone had whistled for it to follow, the trail burst through the open window. The guests started whispering their disappointment at not being able to see the link completed for themselves. A few visiting members of other royal families looked disappointed they weren’t chosen for the bond. Emma did not notice when the music slowly started, and the people around her began to spin, her eyes glued to the window even though the light no longer shone there. A touch on her back, enlighten her to the presence of her family a few feet behind. 

 

Turning she found her mother her smile wide, “You feel it don’t you? Your half of the bond reaching out for it’s other half. Just wait, once it finds them you’ll be connected forever.” Snow brushed a kiss to her daughter cheek, “We’ll begin looking tomorrow sweetheart.” 

 

\-- 

 

Emma waited until it felt like the whole world had stopped paying attention to her she snuck quietly out of the doors of the ballroom onto the balcony and down the deep steps to the garden she could feel the barn pulling her leading her in the direction it wanted her to go until finally it snapped into place and felt like every nerve in her body tingled. Her emotions doubled she felt another heartbeat simultaneously with her own. She stood stock still trying to untangle the emotions flooding her body. she felt anxious and afraid and simultaneously confused with a deep seed of want that couldn't possibly belong to her. She listened to the heart in her chest beating out A melody what sounded like a familiar song and she saw it then. There was a figure draped in shadow standing under her apple tree and even without light she had a moment of clarity. 

 

She released a disbelieving breath walking slowly towards the tree as if she was afraid the figure would disappear before she reached her. She came to a stop a few feet away and even though it had been over a year she wasn't prepared for the chocolate eyes staring back at her. She look as beautiful as she had the last time she’d seen her, but there was an older look in her eyes now. 

 

“What are you doing here?”

  
  


A small smile came across the queen's face. “I think you might know the answer to that already.”

 

“No I'm sorry I don't think I do,” she said with a sneer of disbelief. “This,” she moved her hands in between them quickly, “is not possible you told me it wasn't possible. Daniel,-”

 

Regina took a single step closer to the blonde her hands clasped in front of her. “Daniel was not my soulmate, I loved him and he was a kind person but he was not my soulmate.”

 

“And you're saying I am?” 

 

Regina couldn't help the smirk even if she could feel the rising tide of Emma’s temper. “I don't think I have to say anything Emma, I think the universe to that for us.” 

 

“Well the universe can go to hell.” 

 

Regina appeared resigned as if she knew what Emma's response is going to be before she even said it, “Swan, please.”

 

“I am not your Swan. You lied to me. You kept this from me? How!? How did you even do that? If this is true then why didn't your bond find me? Why didn't you?” Emma's mind jumped from question to never ending question. 

 

“I put a barrier around my castle. That's why it didn't connect.” The queen shifted uneasily in place, she knew how this would sound. “This is the first time I've been out of Calor since my bonding ceremony.”

 

“And why you wouldn't let me come visit whenever my parents did.” It made sense now, she had tried only once to visit Regina after she had been sent away. Her mother had visited the young queen but she hadn't been allowed to accompany her. Snow had accepted the blame but Emma knew the truth. “Were you truly that ashamed of having me for soulmate.”

  
  


Regina stepped closer yet again, only to have Emma back way. “Of course not, I could never be ashamed of you.”

 

“How am I supposed to believe that when you consistently lied to me. You pushed me away, you denied the possibility of anything between us. And now, suddenly we're soulmates? Do you know how many times I dreamed that you would be my mate? Or how hard I cried when you sent me away. 

 

“Probably as hard as I did, I regretted it the moment I did it.”

 

“But you didn't stop me or come after me, or write to me. You could've done 100 different things.” Emma felt remorse rolled Regina in waves, but she fought against the feeling. “Then you deliberately created a barrier between us. And I just don't understand any of it.” 

 

“I know you don't, you couldn't, because I didn't tell you. Will you let me try to explain?” Sensing the indecision in the blonde Regina slid down to the base of tree, demonstrating her refusal to run. After what felt like hours Emma followed suit although she made sure to keep a few feet a distance. Hope flared in Emma's chest, and she realized out quickly it was becoming harder manage her own feelings.

 

“You get used to it, it's tricky at first but then kind of pleasant. Like you're never truly alone.” Regina shared

 

“I wouldn't know.” Emma refused to think about the feelings she had unknowingly shared the last year. Instead she kept her on eyes on Regina's dress, it was beautiful, a purple so dark she thought it black when she first sat down. She was wearing a smaller tiara pinned in her hair. She looked perfect, but that line of thinking would get her know where. So she started with the obvious. “You look dressed a ball, Your Majesty. May I ask why you didn't attend it.”

 

Regina flinched at the use of her title. “Because I felt after everything that has happened you did not to deserve to have this spring on you in front of the your entire kingdom.”

 

“You seem very to have strong opinions on what I did and deserve.”

 

Sidestepping the statement the brunette jumped in, “My mother was married before.” She closed her eyes, it wasn't a subject she truly wished to discuss but it was the basis of so many questions in her life. Emma interest piqued, even without the bond she could have felt the questions wanted to spill out of her mouth, but no questions came. She appreciated that the blonde was apparently going to let her get through this with interruption.

 

“My mother was a miller's daughter, extremely poor, multiple brothers and sisters. She ran away at 16, with soldier in my army, her family couldn’t afford to take care of her anymore.” 

 

Regina leaned her head back on the tree, “She was bonded to father at 19. Her husband was away at the time fighting for my father, his name's William. Mother couldn’t fight the bond, it’s destiny. You automatically feel this connection to the other person, you can’t turn it off, her first husband he never stood a chance. He left with a with wife, and came back to a future Queen. I didn’t know till a teenager, we had came to visit you. Your parents are just,” She looked up at the castle, “they are so in love it shows in everything thing they do.”

 

“Mine, they loved each other, but I think William was always in the background. I think my mother wondered about what it would have been like between them, if they would have made it or if she would have fallen out of love with him. But she never had the time.” Regina opened her eyes, and caught Emma staring at her. 

 

“Emma, I loved him. Daniel.” She felt a small twinge of guilt for the boy she once loved. “He was there for me in the big empty castle, when he died he didn’t leave anyone or thing behind. Just me.”

 

“You're allowed to miss him.” Emma spoke, Regina’s guilt eating her up inside. “I never wanted you to to forget him. I wanted you to let me be there for it.”

 

Regina lifted her hand, and hesitantly placed it on the soft fabric of her dress. “I know you did, but the thing is that I couldn’t let you be. Emma that night laid with me, having you there, it was the first night in weeks I had slept. The next morning when I got up it was like, for a moment everything was okay. Then it wasn’t and a felt the guilt sneak up on me.” 

 

Regina smiled for the first time, her lips widening enough to show her white teeth, “You looked beautiful laying there, I stayed there for a few minutes.” Emma could feel her insides starting to soften.  

 

“When I got up I just feel so terrible, like I had forgotten all about them. That’s why when you asked to stay I said no. I did regret, but I was so caught up in my pain I couldn’t think about yours. I’m sorry.”

 

Emma nodded her, “I understand.”

 

“But you don’t, not really, the bonding ceremony was closed. There wasn’t even a court witness, just Blue and I. When the dust flew, I knew, before it even found you. Then it did and all I could feel was pain, and heartbreak. It was too much, but I could still feel you thinking about me. Then one day you weren’t, and that hurt too. So cast the barrier, and I stayed in the castle. I just didn’t to hurt anymore, and I couldn’t survive feeling you hate me.”  

 

“I never hate you, you wouldn’t talk to me Regina, that’s why I was heartbroken.”

 

“I was guilty at first because of Daniel, he went to his grave believing we were meant to be together, and here I knew for a fact he was wrong. Then because the one person who I was supposed to be with, I had pushed away. I understand if you don’t love me anymore.”

 

“I never said that, I could never not love you but you have to understand I don’t know if a trust you.” Emma felt the despair in those words. “What if I never know if your feelings for me are just, mine” 

 

“Then feel me,” Regina spoke quickly, pleading. Flipping her hand over for the Emma to take. “Take my hand, feel the connection, every thought, every feeling, you’ll know.”

 

Emma sat watching Regina’s hand like it was a viper, she slowly inched closer, her hand felt like a magnet to the long tan fingers standing out on pale blue dress. She finally slid her fingers between the queen’s. And visions flooded her mind, everything Regina did and didn’t want to show her, nights of the queen alone crying her chambers. The magic mirror in her bedroom were she had allowed herself to watch Emma long after she had stopped the connection. The jealous look on the queen face the day Princess Merida had visited the castle and taken Emma riding. The look of love and fear on her face as she watched her dress for the ball that evening. Months and months of one sided memories. When they finally slowed to a stop she realized she was crying, so was Regina. “You, you love me.”

 

Regina nodded her head, “Yes, Emma if you need time.” She was cut off by the feeling of lips crushing hers, the love and lust overtaking her as she kissed back.

 

“I don’t need time, my Queen. We’ve missed so much already.”


End file.
